101 Ways To Annoy The Witch
by BritishWaffleSyrup
Summary: *NO LONGER ON HIATUS* Join Brownie and her friends on a quest to hack off the Witch! Kevin, the Smoker who tries to do stuff properly! Adam, the Hunter who gets hurt all the time! Sapphire, Adam's younger sister and Brownie's best friend! Wolf, the 9 and a half foot tall Tank who absolutely hates the surviviors! WHOOP! XD
1. Brownie's Plan

**Whassup? I'm writing meh 2****nd**** story! Yay! I was bored when I thought of this, and hyped up cause' I ate ice- cream with a whole ton of Hershey's "Genuine" Chocolate Syrup. Yay for excessive syrup! :D Oh and since this is a prologue, it doesn't say what Brownie's idea is yet.**

**Disclaimer: Once upon a time, I don't own L4D2. The End.**

**Claimer: I own The idea of Slasher, Brownie, Wolf, Kevin, Sapphire and Adam.**

**101 ways 2 startle the Witch! YEAH!**

"GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS!" I ran into the room. My name is Brownie, otherwise known as Slasher. Why? Because I turn into a giant wolf and slash survivors to death. I can also alert the horde by howling. Unlike the Hunter, I attack from behind. Anyway, the other Special Infecteds continued what they were doing. Our Specials hide-out was in a gym. We called it our clubhouse. The Hunters were playing poker, the Tanks were arm-wrestling, the Smokers were playing, who-can-smoke-the-most-cigs-at-once, and I'm too lazy to name what the rest of them were doing. Ignoring me, basically. The only Infected not here was the Witch. She only came to get sugar from the employee cupboards. Then all the Specials would watch her warily until she walked off. But anyway, they were still ignoring me. I looked down and saw a conveniently placed megaphone laying on the floor.

"HEY!" I yelled into it. The Hunters jumped so high their heads got stuck in the roof, the Smokers started choking on their smoke, and the two Tanks arm-wrestling sprained each-others wrists. I tossed down the microphone.

"Guess what!" I said happily. The Specials glared at me, apart from the Hunters who were stuck in the roof. But I'm sure they were _trying_ to glare at me. I grinned.

"What?" Adam asked. He was a Hunter with a dark blue hoodie.

"I'm bored." I replied. They stared at me for a second.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" Wolf said. He was an extremely large Tank, kind of like an alpha male of the Tanks.

"WAIT. Before you rip me to shreds then I respawn and annoy you some more"- annoyed looks-" I have a plan to cure our boredness!" I grinned my wolf grin. The Hunters had finally gotten themselves out the roof with many curses.

"I've got a bad feeling about this…" Kevin, the Smoker said.

_2 minutes of Brownie telling them her plan later…_

"NO. NO WAY. NO. NUH-UH."

"Oh come on, Smokey. Please?" I asked with puppy eyes.

"I don't know if that's a good idea, Brownie." Adam said, studying me.

"Are you kidding? That sounds wicked!" A female voice said. We looked up at the ceiling to see Sapphire hanging from a lamp. Sapphire is Adam's younger sister and my best friend. Like her name, she wore a sapphire hoodie. She is roughly a year older than me. Adam's very protective of her.

"Sapphire! Get down from there NOW!" Adam yelled.

"Kay'!" She yelled back, grinning.

"That's what I thought- OH SHIZ!" Adam looked up again to see a blue bundle falling at him. WHAM.

"You okay Sapphire?" I asked.

"Yeah. I used Adam as a cushion to break my fall." She replied grinning. "Don't know about Adam though." She stood up, and said to Adam,

"Thanks for helping Adam, but you really gotta move if you don't want to become injured." She said laughing.

"Wait! I have another idea!" I said smiling.

"Wha- Oh… Injury! That means…" She said.

"Oh no." Kevin said.

"I don't like where this is going…" Wolf said.

"AMBULANCE TIME!" Sapphire and I yelled together. Sapphire pulled out a cell phone from nowhere.

"Jock! We need an ambulance! STAT." Sapphire yelled after dialing a number. Jock was a Jockey. Pretty funny if you ask me. Maniacal laughter was heard on the other end of the phone.

"Jock?"

"_Huh? Oh, sorry Sapphire. HAHAHA! I was watching a reality TV show where Justin Bieber gets beaten up by a squirrel! HAHA! And I'll get you the ambulance right away! HAHAHA!"_

"Thanks Jock! Oh, and since when did the Infected get TV?"

"_Since when did they get cell phones?" _Came the reply.

"Touche."

"_I'll be there in about ten seconds."_

"Ok, bye!" She hung up.

"Do you really think he'll be here in ten seconds?" Wolf asked.

"Well, it is categorized as humor." I replied.

"What is?" Wolf asked, a confused expression on his face.

"Never mind."

_2 seconds later…_

-Ambulance siren-

"He's here!" Sapphire yelled. Howling was heard as well.

"He's attracting the horde!" Wolf yelled over the ruckus.

"YUP!" Me and Sapphire yelled.

"COME ON GUYS!" Jock called. Wolf slung Adam over his shoulder and ran out the door. We followed and saw Jock laughing like crazy driving the ambulance around in circles while the horde chased him howling. Jock parked it and yelled at us to get in the back. He threw boomer bile and a couple of pipe bombs over somewhere else. We clambered into the back of the emergency vehicle.

"GO GO GO!" Kevin yelled.

"See! I told you it would be awesome." Sapphire said.

"You never said that." Wolf said.

"Huh. Oh well."

_In New Orleans…_

"Did you guys hear that?" Rochelle whispered.

"Yeah, sounded like an ambulance." Nick said looking over where the noise had come from.

"Ya think we should check it out?" Ellis asked.

"I think so." Coach said.

_Back in the ambulance…_

"WHOO, HOO HOO!" I yelled out the window.

"YEAH!" Sapphire yelled.

"Hmmph." Wolf said.

"Come on, Wolf!" Sapphire said.

"What?"

"Yell!" Sapphire said.

"No, I'd rather not- ROAR!" Wolf half said, half yelled.

"That's the spirit!"

"Uh, I don't think that's what he was yelling about…" Kevin said peeking out the window. He pointed towards the figures of four people looking towards the van rushing off.

"Ohh… poop." Sapphire said, staring through a pair of binoculars. She gave them to me and I looked through them. One of them had a bloody white suit with a blue shirt underneath the jacket. Another was a female and wore a pink shirt, jeans, boots, and her hair was in a ponytail. The one standing next to her was a taller male with a trucker's cap, a yellow shirt that said 'Bull Shifters' with a clam underneath and pants with overalls tied around them and work boots. The final one was a tall, heavyset man with a purple and yellow polo shirt, and brown pants. But the worst thing? They all had weapons. Survivors.

"Oh fudgesicles." I said.

"I think we should let Wolf out before he goes on a rampage and destroys everything." Jock called.

"Excellent idea. I think Brownie should go too." Kevin said.

"What about me?" Sapphire whined.

"No…" Adam groaned.

"Meh." Sapphire said unhappily.

"Don't worry Saph. I'll bring back that kid's trucker cap." I said. Sapphire had always liked trucker caps.

"Oh really!" She asked happily.

"Yes."

"WHOOP!" She whooped.

Kevin opened the door and Wolf and I jumped out. He closed the door again. Before I could say anything, Wolf ran off in the direction of the survivors. I sighed. I climbed up a drainpipe, and jumped from rooftop to rooftop. I finally leapt to a building behind the survivors. Wolf was already beating up one of them. The other two were trying to save him. I saw an M-16 lying in an alleyway. Then I saw it's owner running towards it. The one with the blue and white trucker's cap.

"Heh heh. This is going to be a piece of cake." I chuckled quietly to myself. When he had picked up the gun and turned around, I leapt from the rooftop to a mattress lying on the ground. I crept up behind him and yanked his hat of his head with my teeth. He spun around and pointed his gun at me.

"What the- oh… it's just a puppy!" I sat down and wagged my tail.

"Can ah have mah hat back?" He said crouching down. I dropped it in front of him.

"That a girl! Come on, let's go show ya ta the others." We walked to the end of the alleyway.

"Ellis come on! We need your help!" The large man yelled.

"Ok! Now, ya stay here, ok?" The kid said. I licked his face.

"Aww. Comin' guys!" I watched but saw Wolf was about to get creamed. Suddenly, I came up with a plan. I started barking and ran towards Wolf. The survivors stopped shooting. I pretended to attack him. He took the hint and fell over, groaning.

"Wow. That dog just saved our lives!" The female said.

"I don't know. I have a bad feeling about that dog…" White suit guy said.

"Why?" The kid said.

"I dunno. Like the minute we turn our backs, it's going to turn into some huge monster or something." He replied.

"Hey, why don't we turn our backs then and see if Nick is right." The large man said.

"Fine." White suit guy said. They turned around. I grinned and silently transformed into my giant, ten foot tall, clawed, fanged, wolf. They turned around.

"Wow Nick… You're better at this than I thought."

"Yup… It would seem so."

"Run?"

"Yeah."

"AAAAHHHHHHHH!" They ran off. Wolf stood up.

"Wow. Good call." He said.

"Thanks." I replied. The ambulance drove up next to us.

"Hey guys!" Jock said climbing out the front door.

"Hey Jock! Did you drop Adam off at the hospital?"

"No. Just as we arrived, Adam woke up and started beating up Sapphire with an IV stand for using him to break her fall." He replied grinning.

"Nice… Where are they now?" I asked.

"Sapphire's hiding in a closet, while Adam's trying to find her and Kevin went to the clubhouse." He replied.

"Ahh. Ok. Thanks Jock! Oh, and here's your payment." I handed him a six pack of root beer.

"WHOO! Thanks Brownie!" He said before climbing into the back of the ambulance and driving off.

"Huh. I wonder where the horde went?" I asked Wolf. He shrugged. Suddenly I felt a tapping on my shoulder. I turned around and saw a massive horde.

"Is this gonna hurt?" I asked the closest common to me. He nodded.


	2. Annoying The Witch

**Hello! Sorry for the wait, but I was about ¼ done on this chappie when I forgot to save it. In fact, I forgot to save it so many times before, the automatic saving file thingamabob stopped 'automatically saving files.' :P. Whatever.**

**Fun fact: Microsoft Word accepts 'Thingamabob' as a word. Didn't know that.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Valve, L4D/L4D2, Steam, or anything else. I own a jar of cookies to give to people who review though! They be chocolate chip XD ONTO DA STOREH.**

Wolf, Kevin, Adam, Sapphire, and I sat on a large couch. Wolf and I had gotten our bandages taken off after a week and a half since the commons attack, and right now we were all lazing around on the comfy pillows and cushions. Sapphire was playing on her PSP3 that she had found in an abandoned house, upstairs in some kid's room. Kevin was reading a book, I couldn't make out what the words said, me being a dog and all, but it had a picture of a kid flying on a broomstick, attempting to grab a seemingly small golden egg while being chased by a dragon. Hmm. Maybe if I knew how to read, it would be interesting. Adam was munching and gnawing on a slab of meat. Thin lines of slobber and drool ran around his mouth and down the meat. Charming.

"Hey guys, you want to know the first part of 'Operation Disturb Da Witch'?" I asked.

"No." Kevin muttered, turning a page.

"Nope." Adam added through a mouthful of meat.

"Sure." Sapphire said, turning off the game.

"Glad to know someone's listening." I said scowling at Kevin and Adam. They continued reading and chewing.

"Don't worry, I've got this." Sapphire whispered to me. She jumped onto the coffee table in front of us and spun around to face Adam and Kevin.

"HEY!" She yelled at them.

Adam and Kevin jumped. Adam, again, became stuck in the ceiling. Then Sapphire continued in a much calmer tone,

"There's cake in the staff kitchen." Adam yanked his head out the ceiling, fell on the floor with a large _thump_, and started bounding off towards the kitchen.

"WAIT FOR ME!" Kevin yelled and half-ran half-shambled towards the kitchen. They burst into the kitchen doors. There were several thumps and scuffling noises, and frantic voices saying "WHERE? Where is precious?" Then there was silence. The doors swung open revealing the two.

"Where?" Kevin asked.

"Where's the cake?" Adam added.

"The cake? Oh, the cake." Sapphire said. They nodded. "The cake is a lie."

"WHAAA?" Kevin and Adam said in unison.

"Yeah. I made it up so you would listen to Brownie." Sapphire said with a hand gesture of dismissal. I grinned. Realization hit the morons and they glared at us.

"Oh there will be vengeance." Kevin whispered evilly.

"Yeah. Whatever. Anyway, Brownie wants to say something." Sapphire said. Adam and Kevin muttered something angrily and walked back to their seats.

"So the first part of my plan is… We're going to tell Amanda Hank the Tank broke up with her." I said. Amanda is the Witch. Hank the Tank is her boyfriend. Everyone apart from Amanda hates Hank because he's a jerk.

"Oh shiz! That sounds freakin' awesome!" Sapphire said jumping all around.

"Haha, yeah it does!" I replied. We high-fived each-other in mid-air.

"Nope. Uh-uh." Adam said.

"I agree with Adam." Kevin stated. Adam and Kevin's looks of anger had turned into 'ARE YOU CRAZY?' kind of looks.

"Yeah, we figured you'd say that." Sapphire said.

"That's why we're going by ourselves." I said. "Just me and Sapphire."

"Sapphire and _I._" Kevin corrected.

"And are you crazy? You'll get creamed!" Adam added in horror. Sapphire and I put on sad puppy dog looks.

"But… that's why you're my bro… you'll protect us… so we won't become cream… delicious cream…" Sapphire mumbled with big eyes under her hood.

"Yeah… Kevin will protect us too…" I said. "Cause' if Adam becomes cream… who will protect us then?" I added with big eyes. Sapphire and I whimpered, made our eyes larger, and pouted.

"ARGH… Fine." Adam groaned in defeat.

"Whatever…" Kevin agreed.

"YAYYYYY!" Sapphire and I abandoned our puppy dog looks and started grinning. Adam slumped on his place on the couch and closed his eyes under his hood.

"So when are we going to do it?" Wolf asked. I had almost forgotten he was here.

"Right now." Sapphire said, bouncing around like a kangaroo. Adam snapped open his eyes. At least, I think he did.

"…What…?" He asked slowly.

"Yeah. Sapphire and I figured out a time to do it. We're actually five minutes late." I said, checking my watch that had appeared out of nowhere.

"Cool watch." Sapphire said.

"Thanks." I replied.

"Where'd you get it?" She asked bouncing off Adam's head and onto a bookshelf we had placed in the gym.

"I have no idea." I laughed, still studying the object.

"Kay'! Let's do this!" Sapphire yelled and bounded out the door.

"Whoop whoop!" I whooped and bounded out in my wolf form.

"Wait for us!" Kevin and Adam yelled, jumped over the couch and ran after us. Wolf sighed. He ran out the door.

Five minutes later…

We had all caught up to each other, and we were pretty much lost.

"Where are we?" Adam asked.

"Not a clue." Sapphire replied.

"Told you this was a bad idea." Kevin said gloomily.

"No you didn't." Adam said staring at him.

"Yes I did."

"Didn't."

"Did."

"Ladies, you're both beautiful. Now shut your pieholes or I'll take away your cake privileges." I said, a slight grin etched on my face. Sapphire snorted.

"NOOOOOOO!" They yelled.

"Then SHUT UP." Sapphire said through gritted teeth. I laughed.

"I wonder where the Witch is." Wolf said, his eyes scanning the dark alleyways ahead of us. Suddenly, there was a beeping noise, and I looked down at my watch. It was definitely coming from there. I held it up to my face, and the group came to a stop.

"What is it doing?" Sapphire asked.

"I have no idea." I replied. The watch suddenly started speaking.

"_Turn right in 500 yards."_

"What?" I asked. The watch repeated itself. We all turned to Kevin.

"It means we have to walk over there." He said, pointing towards an intersection at the alleyway. "Then we have to turn right."

"Seems legit." Sapphire spoke up and marched off towards the intersection.

"Follow Sapphire, I guess." I said.

Ten hours later of turning, digging, and exhausted walking…

"Well, this sucks." Adam panted.

"You're telling me… I need a break." Sapphire said.

"Excuse ME? I just gave you a piggyback ride for TEN HOURS." Adam growled.

"Yeah… But riding piggyback is exhausting." She replied. Adam opened a dumpster and tipped her into it.

"HEY!" Came the muffled yell from inside. Wolf sat on the lid.

"WOLF!" Sapphire yelled. Wolf, Adam, and Kevin snorted with laughter.

"Hey you guys?" I asked staring at something in the close distance.

"What?" Adam asked, and followed my gaze. "Oh heck no."

"Hmm?" Kevin said and looked as well. "No! Are you kidding me?" The building was the back of the gym. Guess what was in front of the back of the gym? The Witch.

"What's everybody staring at- ROAR!" Wolf roared in exasperation.

"What's going on out there?" Sapphire asked from inside the dumpster. Wolf climbed off the lid and opened it. Sapphire popped up with a banana peel on her hood.

"Hello! Greetings from trash-land." She said grinning.

"Did you hit your head when Adam tipped you in?" I asked.

"No." She replied. "I'm just being random. After all, it is categorized as humor." She stated matter-of-factly.

"What is?" Adam asked confusedly.

"Never mind." Sapphire and I said in unison.

"Jinx." I told Sapphire.

"Argh!" She said. I punched her lightly.

"No talking!" I screeched.

"Meh." She replied, grinning. Then when I tried to punch her, she jumped onto a rooftop. She blew a raspberry at me. "In your face!" She called from the rooftop.

"Darn it. But get down, we still have to tell the Witch you-know-what." I said.

"Aww…" She said jumping down. We walked over to where the Witch sat. Adam, Wolf, and Kevin jumped up and ran after us. Sapphire poked the Witch's shoulder.

"Hey Amanda." Amanda glared at us.

"What?" She growled. "This better be good."

"Well… Hank broke up with you." I said. Amanda screamed the tell-tale Witch scream.

"RUNNNN!" I yelled. We all ran for it and leapt/climbed onto a tall rooftop. We saw Amanda run into a building.

"Hey Kevin, what does that building say?" I asked politely.

"Pick-Axe, Incorporated, Number 1." He replied staring at the large lettering.

"Anyone notice the name of the building spells 'PAIN'? Wolf pointed out.

"Oh yeah, so it does." Adam said. Suddenly Amanda ran out the building. A large robot suit seemingly made out of giant pick-axes came running out as well. Amanda screeched something at it and it saluted, then ran off somewhere. We all stared off in the direction which it had run. Then a huge explosion came from the direction of the supermarket that had been abandoned. A mushroom cloud filled the air, and pick-axes started raining down from the sky.

"Woah… COOL!" Sapphire said laughing. I laughed too, until I saw a giant pick-axe falling towards us. We jumped out the way and the oversized mining tool landed right where we had been standing. Sapphire and I stood up and looked around for the guys. We peered down off the ledge just in time to see them fall into the dumpster they shut Sapphire in. Sapphire and I laughed and ran off to the gym.

**Ok, finally finished! Writer's block sucks :P. Please R and R! :D Cookie!**


	3. Ichapter 3

**Hello again! Thank you for reviewing, and sorry for the wait on chapter two, I had writer's block. So yeah, to the story!**

The sound of running water stopped and Adam emerged from the hallway leading to the showers. He was wrapped in a towel, the dark blue one.

"Finally, I'm clean! Being in that dumpster made me stink."

He didn't see the tripwire Sapphire and I had placed between a potted plant and the sofa, and while whistling, tripped over it. He did see a massive, open trash bag full of the smelliest things we could find come falling straight at him though. A huge pile of trash covered him, and Sapphire and I jumped down from a light, giggling like lunatics. Adam's head burst through some old banana peels and rotten eggs.

"AW COME ON, that's the FIFTH time today!" Adam yelled angrily. That just made Sapphire and I laugh harder. Adam muttered something under his breath, climbed out the garbage, and walked off towards the showers again.

"So, what's the plan to annoy the Witch this time?" Sapphire asked once our laughter had died down.

"We're going to replace all the sugar in the cupboards with health snacks and sugar-free chocolate." I said.

"Wait. Once she's gone off the wall, are we gonna put back all the sugary snacks?" Sapphire asked nervously.

"Of course, you know that all of us couldn't live without sugar if our lives depended on it! Apart from maybe Adam, he'd live on meat." I said, rolling my eyes at Sapphire. Sapphire blew a raspberry at me, walked over to the kitchen, and grabbed a garbage bag off the counter. She threw open the cupboard revealing the snacks and tossed the snacks one by one into the bag. As they went, she said goodbye to them all.

"…Goodbye, Betty Crocker's whipped cream. Goodbye, frosted donuts…."

"Ya know, we're just hiding them and then getting them back." I said, tossing a packet of cotton candy we had grabbed from Whispering Oaks. Good memory from there: oiling the rails of the Screamin' Oak so that when the survivors tried to run on it, they slipped and fell off. Hehehe… I came out of my stupor on account of Sapphire snapping her fingers in front of my face.

"Hey, I'm done placing the snacks in the bag."

"Got it." I replied, tossing the last snack in the bag and closing the plastic sack tightly. I walked over to a loose floor board, pulled it up and hid the sack under a pile of rotten garbage and other junk. (We "cleaned.")

"Wait. Won't the grossness waft in to the snacks and make it taste bad?" Sapphire asked, an expression of horror on her face.

"Nope. That's a Hefty garbage bag." I replied.

"But I thought they're supposed to keep smells _in_?"

I thought about this for a second. "It'll probably work the other way around." Sapphire shrugged, but there was still a look of doubt etched on her face. We closed the floorboard together.

Just then, Kevin walked in.

"Hey guys. What's up?" He asked.

"Hey Kevin." Sapphire and I said in unison.

"Nothing." I said.

"Uh, Kevin? I wouldn't walk in front of the doorway leading to Adam's room. Just a heads up." Sapphire said casually.

"Why…?" He asked suspiciously. Before Sapphire or I could answer, he shook his head. "You know what? I'm probably going to find out, so never mind." Sapphire and I grinned. Adam walked out of the showers again, this time glaring at us.

"Om nom nom nom." Sapphire said randomly. Kevin and I chuckled. Adam, still walking, said with a frown, "What the heck does that mean-?" Before falling into a hidden pit full of half decomposed bass. Kevin, Sapphire, and I started snorting with laughter.

"NOT FUNNY!" Adam screeched from inside the pit.

"_Au contraire, mon ami a capuche._" I said happily.

"You speak French?" Kevin asked, amazed.

"Yeah, I swallowed a French textbook." I laughed. Then, Adam jumped up out of the pit.

"You mean, MY French textbook." He growled.

"What does that mean anyways?" Sapphire asked confusedly.

"It means, 'The contrary, my hooded friend.'" Kevin said.

"Ohhh." Sapphire said.

"Yep." I said, then jumped off to the video room and grabbed a tape. I came out and turned on the computer. Then I uploaded the video to YouTube. (Jock had figured out a way to bring the Internet back up.)

"What'd you just do?" Adam asked, glaring at me.

"Uploaded the videos of you getting trashed onto YouTube." I replied, smiling evilly. Before Adam could kill me, Wolf and Jock walked in laughing.

"That video you uploaded is HILARIOUS, Sapphire." Wolf said, with his deep laugh.

"Yeah, it was pretty funny!" Jock giggled maniacally.

"Why thank you." I said taking a bow.

"So, what's the plan to annoy the Witch this time?" Jock asked, still giggling a bit every now and then.

"That's exactly what I said!" Sapphire said.

"Yes. Yes it was." I replied. "Phase One of the plan has been completed: Hide the sugary snacks."

"Oh, I get it. Amanda will go berserk, because we "destroyed" the sugary snacks." Adam said. We looked at Adam as if he had just turned into a T-rex. "What?"

"Since when did you know stuff? Kevin's the smart one." Sapphire said.

"Yeah." I added. "Your head blows up, sets on fire, becomes engulfed by crocodile jaws, and becomes beaten up by the Spitter on a daily basis, so it's kind of surprising you knew our plan."

"Hey! I only got beaten up by the Spitter once, so be quiet!" Adam growled.

"Aw, come on Adam. There's no shame in being beaten by a girl." Kevin said.

"Unless it's the Spitter." Wolf added in an undertone. Everyone snickered, apart from Adam, who glared at us from under his hoodie. Suddenly the Witch walked in. Her claws gleamed dangerously, she looked at us suspiciously, and started walking off to the kitchen. The rest of us glanced at each other, and Jock pressed a button on his Ipad. The ambulance Jock drove came wailing down the street and stopped in front of the gym.

"Nice app. NOW LET'S GO!" Sapphire yelled, we ran out the door, and climbed into the medical van.

"Step on it!" I yelped.

"Drive!" Adam growled.

"Hi ho silver, away!" Sapphire giggled.

"Pedal to the metal!" Wolf roared.

"Let's get the fudge out of here!" Kevin coughed.

"OK I GET IT! I'm going!" Jock laughed, and with a screech of the tires we drove off.

"So. Where we going?" Sapphire asked.

"To the nearest safe room, I've seen survivors hiding from us Specials." Jock said.

"Ok, let's do it." Wolf agreed. Jock turned on the GPS that had been placed in the glove box. We drove up to an apartment building, and climbed out. We opened the door, ran up the flight of stairs and stopped in front of the red metal door. Wolf slammed open the door and then we all piled in to the room filled with ammo, guns, first aid, and other various supplies.

"Yes, we're safe!" I whooped. Sapphire and I high-fived each other. Suddenly we were all picked up by a large machine.

"What the-?" Wolf roared, and he started trying to escape from the tight grip of the metal claw. We were facing the survivors we had seen earlier, along with several others.

"Hit him with your butter sock Sam!" A teen with long dark hair said frantically.

"Right, Carly." The girl named Sam replied grimly. Sam grabbed a sock from a tall guy. It appeared to be filled with something, and Sam swung it at Wolf's head, and he was immediately knocked unconscious.

"Oh thank God." Sapphire said. The Specials looked at her. "I owed him $104.78."

"He's not dead, just unconscious. You know that, right?" I said. Sapphire stared at Wolf's head and then blinked.

"Rightttt…" She said. Then the tall guy interrupted us by saying,

"So what are they doing in the apartment?" Ellis, the guy I had met when I tried to steal his hat, said,

"I don't know, but wha' ah do know is that that dog shouldn't be let out of that there machine."

"Why not Ellis? It's just a dog." The woman in the pink shirt asked frowning.

"Don't ya remember? That's the dog tha' turned into a wolf and tried ta' kill us."

"Overalls is right, Rochelle. That's the same dog." White suit guy said.

"Yeah, and that's the same Tank. The Tank that beat us up was massive, and so is that one." Purple and yellow shirt said.

"So they're all in cahoots then." Rochelle said.

"Pretty much." Suit guy replied. Suddenly, the scream of Amanda echoed up the stairwell.

"Witch!" Ellis said frantically.

"Don't worry young'n, we're in the safe room. She can't get us here." Purple and yellow dude said calmly.

The Infected and I all began shaking our heads frantically, apart from Wolf, who was still KO'd.

"What're they doing-?" Carly asked before a wrecking ball smashed through the roof of the apartment. Chaos broke out. Fortunately for the Infecteds, it smashed the machine and we were released.

"Run for it!" Adam yelled, and we started galloping for the door.

"Wait! What about Wolf?" Sapphire said over the commotion. Kevin shot out his tongue and slapped Wolf on the face twice, and Wolf woke up. He saw what we were doing, he bounded over to us, and we ran down the stairwell. We tumbled down the stairs, ran out the door, and then piled into the van.

"DRIVE!" We all yelled. Jock drove.

"Uh, guys? We have a problem." Jock called from the front seat. I looked out the little window placed on the back doors. The wrecking ball crane was coming right at us.

"She's gaining on us!" Sapphire yelled. The wrecking ball suddenly came flying at us. Jock swerved, and we went skidding into a children's hospital. We climbed out.

"Hey look, a bazooka!" Sapphire said, picking up the cylindrical weapon. "And it has rockets laying next to it!"

"What kind of children's hospital has bazookas in it?!" Kevin asked.

"Pretty cool one, if you ask me." I replied. Suddenly the crane burst through a wall.

"SHIZ!" Adam yelled. I saw a pipe bomb lying on the floor right at my feet. Idea! Just as Amanda was going to reach for the controls, I threw it. It bounced off the front of the machine and landed between it and us._ Beep beepbbbeeeeppppp!_

_**BOOOOOM…**_

_To be continued…_


	4. Annoying The Witch: Hospital Style!

**Whassup, my friends? This is the fourth chapter to my story, as you may as well know. I just want to say thanks to all the peoples who reviewed, I didn't know I'd get that many reviews! (Thought I'd only get like, two. :D) Onto the story! **

'_Uhhhhh…' _I opened my heavy eyes, and my ears were ringing. I held up my fingers and hands and saw that they were bandaged, apart from one of my hands. I looked around the room and saw a balloon tied to the hospital bed I was lying in.

"Nyahhhhhhh…" I said randomly.

Then I noticed a remote laying on my bedside table. Hmmm… I pressed a power button on the top of the remote. A TV I hadn't noticed turned on in the top left corner of the room. It was showing the Infected news. It was about how a common had fallen off the top of Mercy Hospital and how he's still falling. Wait, I'm in a hospital… I looked outside my window and saw the same common I saw in the news falling down past my window.

"Huh, would ya look at that." I said out loud. I pressed a button and it changed the channel. I started flicking through the channels until I found a strange one- a view of Sapphire's room.

"Sapphire!" I yelled. I saw Sapphire jump in the bed she was laying in and she yelled,

"OW!"

I laughed, as Sapphire turned her head towards her TV and saw a view of my room. (Probably.)

"Oh, hello sadist." She joked. I chuckled. Then I told Sapphire about the guy who is falling off Mercy Hospital, the hospital we're in.

"Wait… why would he still be falling?" Sapphire asked curiously.

"Dude. Have you SEEN how tall Mercy is? He'll still be falling by Christmas." I stated.

"That's a week away."

"Exactly." I replied. She snorted, then said,

"I'm bored."

"Me too, buddeh." I answered. Then Sapphire gasped.

"We should have a hospital bed racing competition!" She yelled. I gasped too.

"We should indeed!" I checked the remote control I had. It had an analog stick on it, as well as a button that had had a word written under it- 'TURBO.'

"Sapphire, there's a remote control on your bedside table. Do you see it?" I said/asked. She turned her head, saw it, and picked up the remote with her clawed hand.

"Hey look, it has controls on it!" She said. "These must be for the bed."

"Good job. What room number are you in?" I asked.

"Forty-two B." She said, checking the number on the end of the bed. I checked my number too.

"Mine's Forty-two A. So we're across the hall from each other."

"Awesome. Ok, meet me out in the hallway." Sapphire said. I moved the analog stick forwards, and the bed started moving. I went up to the door, and turned the doorknob. The door opened and I zoomed out to meet Sapphire. She was already out there, waiting for me.

"On your mark… Get set… GO!" She yelled and we raced off down the hall. We came to a flight of stairs and bounced down it. Then we burst through the doors of the cafeteria, saw our friends and someone else eating at a table, and raced over to them. They saw us racing over to them and jumped out the way. Sapphire screeched over to the table first and jumped into an empty chair seated at the table.

"Om nom nom." She said. I then did the same thing. Our friends and the other guy, a Charger with shades, started to pick themselves up off the floor.

"Good morning." Sapphire said sweetly.

"Did you have a nice trip?" I added in the same tone of voice. The Charger laughed at me.

"We were, until you showed up." Adam said. "And no, you hurt my leg." Wolf grunted in agreement. Everyone had been seated in their chairs again.

"Oh, by the way Sapphire and Brownie, this is DJ." Kevin said introducing him and us two.

"S'up?" I asked reaching over to shake his hand. I was in my wolf form, so it made it easier to shake DJ's meaty hand. "Cool shades."

"Thank you." DJ replied. "Pleasure's all mine. And you must be Sapphire."

Sapphire shook his hand too. "Why yes. Yes I am."

"I figure you've already met Adam, Wolf, Kevin, and Jock?" I asked pleasantly.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I have." DJ replied.

"So you must know all about Adam's teddy bear he sleeps with, ." Sapphire said. DJ laughed, Adam looked like a tomato, and Wolf, Kevin, and Jock stared at Adam incredulously.

"…Shut… UP…" Adam said through gritted teeth.

"Well, before Sapphire and I explore a whole new world of pain, we would like to be excused so we could go and receive some delightful Lucky Charms from that lovely-looking lunch lady." I said politely. Sapphire and I stood up, and we walked off towards the breakfast line. As we went we burst out laughing, and we heard Adam mutter,

"Imbeciles." We walked over to the lunch line, grabbed a tray, and went to the lunch lady, who appeared to be a Witch eating toffee reading a book.

"Excuse me, ma'am, but could we receive some Lucky Charms?" Sapphire asked politely.

"Go stuff yourself." The lunch lady replied quite rudely. Before I could say anything quite rude back, Sapphire interrupted me.

"Stuff myself? With what, may I ask? That lovely looking toffee you've got there? If you insist." Sapphire asked, then snatched the bag off the counter and started eating some of the pieces. "Where are my manners? Here ya go, Brownie old chum." Sapphire said, offering the bag to me. I grabbed several pieces.

"Why thank you, Sapphire, old buddy."

The lunch lady was not amused.

"Get back here!" The lunch lady screeched, waving her claws.

"You'll never catch us alive, coppers!" I yelled, my bed speeding down a hallway. Sapphire, who was racing down the hallway next to me, laughed. We sped into a room, slammed the metal door, and locked it. Several moments later, the Witch started pounding on the door.

"Who is it?" I asked in a sing-song voice.

"Open this door!" Came the answer.

"Nope. I don't know a 'Mrs. OpenThisDoor.' Do you, Sapphire?" I asked.

"No, as a matter of fact, I don't." Sapphire replied.

"Funny that." I said. Sapphire gasped suddenly.

"What?" I asked. Sapphire pointed toward a microphone and a button.

"Woah…" I said walking towards the intercom. I touched the button, and it started crackling.

"Ooh…" Sapphire and I said at the same time. Then Sapphire said into the mike,

"I like cheese." We looked at each other and laughed.

_In the cafeteria…_

"**Bzzt. I like cheese. Hahahahaha!**"

"Was that Sapphire?" Adam asked looking up at the intercom suspiciously.

"Yes." Kevin replied, eating some lukewarm scrambled eggs.

"Are they always like this?" DJ asked, grinning.

"Yes." Kevin said gulping down some orange juice. Suddenly the lunch lady burst in through the doors.

"Boy, she looks mad." DJ said. She strode over to the gang at the table.

"Can't you keep those monsters under control?!" She demanded, slamming her clawed hand down on the table. Kevin finished his breakfast, stood up, wiped orange juice off his mouth, and replied,

"Nope." Then walked off and threw his foam tray into the trash.

"If anything, Adam being around makes them worse." Wolf said nodding at Adam.

"True." Jock agreed. The Witch glared at them and growled something rude, then stalked off angrily back to the lunch line. Just then Sapphire and I came whizzing down the stairs in our beds and ran over the Witch as she was walking back.

"YEAH-Oops…"

**END OF CHAPTER 4…**

**That was quicker than chapter 3, huh? Anyways, here's some cookies! –Pours cookies all over world-**

**YAY! Cookies! –happy dance- Thank you for reading! Oh, and also, DJ the Charger? He's not mine. He's my friend's.**


	5. Horses And Ding Dong Ditch

**Hello peoples! What's up? So this is Chapter Five! Yup. Sorry for the wait, I had the dreaded Writer's Block. Oh, and school's starting for me in 10 days, so I might be updating slower. Also, I know it's not Christmas but I put the winter season in the chapter. Here's the story!**

Winter storms had been going on for what seemed like ages ever since we had been out of the hospital. And nothing had really been going on. Until now… Mwhahahahahaha… Adam walked into the room and sat down on the couch. Sapphire, DJ, Wolf, Kevin, Jock, and I were hiding behind the sofa. Sapphire let out a giggle, we all shushed her and Wolf clapped a hand over her mouth. I raised my head, peeked over the back of the couch, and saw that Adam was watching _My Little Pony_. I resisted bursting out laughing and slid back down.

"You got the bucket ready?" I whispered. Jock nodded. He pulled out a remote, and his twitching finger hovered over the big red button in the middle of the piece of rectangular metal. We all gazed at a trapdoor outline in the ceiling above where Adam was sitting. "Three… Two… One." I counted down, and Jock slammed his small fist into the button. The outline opened silently and a giant bucket of snow and ice lowered down. Then ever-so-slowly the bucket started turning over, and when Adam looked up, he saw a big pile of white coming down at him. He was engulfed in the stuff, and then a sort-of smaller bucket emerged from the ceiling. It tipped and maple syrup poured down. It ran down the snow, making it look like a white volcano. Then a gigantic cherry came down and plopped on top of the "volcano." We all jumped out from behind the sofa with spoons in hand. Adam suddenly popped out of a place in the snow, gasping.

"Couldn't...-WHEEZE- … breathe… I'll kill you… -COUGH-… Sapphire and Brownie…"

DJ threw a spoon to him. Instead of catching the spoon, the piece of cutlery hit Adam right in the middle of his forehead, and he was knocked unconscious.

"Remind me why we bought metal spoons again?" Kevin said to Sapphire. She replied,

"Brownie likes the shine." They looked over at me, staring at the spoon. My eyes had a glazed look to them. Wolf sighed and snapped his fingers in my face.

"Hmm, what?" I said, snapping out of my trance.

"Snow? Maple syrup? Adam unconscious?" Sapphire asked me.

"Oh, right!"

Sapphire face palmed.

"Dig in, peoples!" I yelled, and we literally dug in.

_One hour later…_

"Man. Who knew frozen water could be so filling?" I muttered.

"I did." Adam said. He had woken up about five minutes ago. Sapphire threw a brick at him.

"No-one asked you!" She screeched.

Adam ducked and the brick missed his head by inches.

"HA! It miss-" And then a hippopotamus fell on him.

"Well that was random." DJ said.

"Around here, random is our life." Kevin said calmly.

"You said it, buddy!" Sapphire said and stretched out her hand to high-five him. Kevin did not high-five back. "Well? High-five? Don't leave me hanging!"

"Pbht."

"LAME-FACE!" She screeched and threw a brick at Kevin's face. Kevin ducked and said,

"HA! It missed-" And then a very large anvil fell on him.

"I didn't know Kevin had the face of a sick horse." Wolf pondered.

"He could if horses could have the Infection in their bodies." DJ said. Suddenly, horses with black wings, spiked tails, and yellow eyes burst in through a wall of our gym. They all looked different. For instance, one of them had very muscled legs and body. Another had one, giant, front leg, the other front leg frail. One was very small and was twitching and emitting a high pitched giggle-like neigh. Two others, one smallish, the other larger, were hooded and, instead of hoofed, clawed. One of the horses had tumors and a long tongue. And the last one was huge. It had fangs and large, shredding claws. Instead of a spiked tail, it had a wolf tail.

"Awesome…" I said. Wolf threw the anvil and hippo off of Kevin and Adam so they could see too.

"Woah! That's so cool!" Sapphire exclaimed happily. I noticed a ribbon and a note tied to my horse.

"Hmm?" I said and picked up the note. I started to read out loud. "To Brownie, Sapphire, Adam, Kevin, Wolf, Jock, and DJ. Merry Christmas! - Smoker Claus."

"I told you Smoker Claus is real!" Kevin yelled at Adam.

"Whatever." Adam replied, and walked up to the larger one of the hooded horses. The horse snorted at him.

"I'm gonna name you Oreo." He said matter-of-factly.

"Why, because he has brown, black, and white on him?" I asked.

"No. Because I love Oreos." He replied.

"What are you guys naming yours?" I asked, rolling my eyes at Adam.

"I'm naming mine Lightning, because it has a birthmark that looks like a lightning bolt." Sapphire said, pointing at "Lightning's" head. Sure enough, with the rest of the horse being pitch black, there was a white shape resembling a streak of lightning in between the horse's eyes. Lightning whinnied and kicked Adam in the chest. "Good girl!" Sapphire said and gave Lightning a carrot.

"Are you serious?" Adam grumbled as he picked himself up from where he had landed. There was a clawed hoof mark. At least that's what it looked like.

"I'm naming my horse BlackJack." Wolf rumbled.

"That's also Percy Jackson's Pegasus's name!" Kevin said.

"Dude, no-one apart from you can read books. Therefore, we have _no_ idea who Percy Jackson is." I said. Kevin blew a raspberry at me.

"How mature."

"I'm naming him Hawkeye." DJ said, stroking his horse's mane.

"Cool name." Adam said.

"Thank you."

"Hmm… I'm going to name mine Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart." Kevin decided thoughtfully.

"Only you would name a horse the longest name ever." Sapphire said turning to face him.

"Nyah."

"Wow, you are like the most mature person ever Kevin." I said grinning.

"I'm gonna name my horse Chip." Jock said.

"Spiffing. Simple yet spiffingly lovely. I applaud you sir. Now if you don't mind I shall go have some tea and crumpets. Good day." I said in a British accent. They laughed.

"Cool British accent." Wolf said.

"It's easy for me. My nationality is English, after all." I replied in my normal voice.

"Awesome." DJ said. "So what are you going to name yours, Brownie?"

"Dragon." I said. Dragon tossed her head and growled.

"I did not know horses could growl." Wolf said in amazement.

"Nor did I." Kevin said.

"I guess the Infection mutated her voice box." I said. "I wonder if we can ride them."

"Well, I don't think Smoker Claus is going to give us mustangs." Kevin said rolling his eye. He walked over to Wolfgang, and the horse knelt down. He sat on the back gently. Wolfgang stood up and trotted around the couch. We all walked over to our own horses and climbed onto their back. Dragon neighed and started flapping her wings. Before I knew it, I was rising into the air rapidly. The other horses followed suit.

"This is so cool!" DJ exclaimed.

"Yeah it is!" I whooped. Then I whispered to Dragon,

"You want to go fly around town? There are some people I want you to meet." Dragon turned towards her horse comrades. She neighed, tossed her head, and whinnied. The other horses replied by making a snorting noise and shaking their manes. Then Dragon turned towards the hole in the wall and shot forwards.

"This… is… AWESOME!" I yelled through the whistling wind. After a while, Dragon slowed down. I heard the others behind us. I looked down and saw we were quite a way above the broken fountain and the old town square. I pointed towards a broken, run down mansion looming in the distance. Dragon took off again, and this time landed in front of the ivy covered gates. The others landed behind us.

"So what we doin' at Amanda's mansion?" Sapphire asked.

"Ding Dong Ditch." I replied.

"Oh okay - wait, what?" Adam said.

"Yeah. We're going to Ding Dong Ditch her." I said calmly.

"Why?" Adam asked.

"To give our horses a sense of who's bad, A.K.A the survivors, Amanda, and Hank." Sapphire said happily. Lightning snorted.

"Harumph. Fine…" Adam said grumpily.

"YAY!" Sapphire and I said. We tried to push open the gates. They wouldn't budge.

"They're locked." Sapphire said.

"Well, of course they are. With you two in town, it's no wonder why she did." Kevin said.

"That's true. Also, Adam put an electric fence around his bed." Sapphire replied.

"Again, not a surprise." Kevin countered. Before Sapphire could say anything else, Wolf put in,

"You know, you could just climb or jump over the gates."

"Good idea!" I said. I was already in wolf form, so I just yanked myself up and vaulted over the gates. Sapphire crouched down and performed a vertical jump. She landed in the dusty path leading towards the creaky mansion.

"Race ya." Sapphire said. She started jumping from tree to tree up to the old house. I started galloping towards the door. Just as I got to the steps, Sapphire leaped onto the porch.

"Darn it." I said, panting. Sapphire flashed me a sharp-toothed grin and held her finger over doorbell.

"Ready?" She whispered. I glanced over at where the rest of gang was. They saw me looking, took the hint, and climbed onto their individual horses. Dragon and Lightning flew over to us and landed.

"Ready… set… GO!" Sapphire pushed the doorbell. Footsteps could be heard walking swiftly to the door. We clambered onto our horses.

"Giddy up!" I whispered to Dragon. As soon as the door opened, the two horses saw Amanda and shot up.

"Do you think she saw us?" I asked once we had landed on the roof with the others.

"No idea." DJ said.

Amanda walked out from under the porch into our view. She was growling and screeching in anger as the realization came that she'd been pranked. She kicked over a trash can, yanked a tree out of the ground and threw it far away, and yelled something about how she's going to rip us to shreds if she ever gets a hold of us. She then stalked back inside. We all started laughing.

"C'mon. Let's go." I said between laughs.

"Alright." Sapphire agreed wiping tears of laughter away. We flew off towards the gym.

"Tomorrow, we'll show you guys the survivors! How's that sound?" I told the horses. They neighed happily. "Awesome."

**All done with this chapter! YAY! Please R&R. –BWS :D **


	6. Frozen Yogurt

**Hello! Chapter 6! Yeah! Last chapter wasn't as funny as the others, so I'm going to try and make this one funnier. Yup! Here it is:**

We had been flying around town, showing our horses the city. Suddenly all the horses started growling.

"What's wrong with them?" Sapphire asked as Lightning started bucking. "Steady, girl." Lightning calmed down. I pointed towards four figures, guns in hand, walking down the street.

"That's what. They must sense the EVIL." I said clenching my fist and glaring at the survivors.

"Indeed they must!" Sapphire agreed and pointed towards the survivors. "Get em'!" The horses swooped down and landed straight in front of the survivors.

"What the-?" White suit guy said, raising his gun. Before he could shoot, Ellis held up his hand.

"Don't shoot." He said, and put down his hand. He had a look in his eye that could make Wolf shiver. He whistled, and after a few seconds I could hear wing beats. A white and metallic gold colored stallion flew down and landed softly on the ground between the survivors and us. The horse had glinting golden eyes, wings, mane, tail, hooves, teeth, and ears. The Infecteds stared at the magnificent horse, and the horse stared right back. Finally, Sapphire got bored and yelled,

"Mush, onward!" Lightning charged and clashed with the angelic seeming horse. The rest of the Infecteds jumped into the fight as well. We fought for a bit, maybe a few minutes, and while the enemy horse didn't seem to be getting a scratch on itself, our horses had become pooped, and their blows were slowing down.

"THIS PLAN ISN'T WORKING!" Kevin yelled over the din. Sapphire replied by yelling,

"No freakin' duh! Hey look, shiny object!"

"Is now the best time to be looking at- Well, it is very shiny. Very shiny indeed." I said staring at the object. Adam slapped both of us, and pulled out a grenade disguised as an apple. He pulled the pin that was painted like a stalk and leaf and tossed it. The golden and white horse went and grabbed it.

"Duck and cover!" Adam screeched and we ran for it. We hid behind a large car, and peeked over the hood. A large explosion ensued, and we were almost blown off our feet. We looked back over and the enemy horse had been blown to smithereens. Golden and white confetti sprinkled down like shiny rain. The survivors were groaning and picking themselves up from the now blackened, usually grayish concrete road. You know in cartoons (I used to watch them before the Infection hit) where there's an explosion and the characters eyes are the only thing you can see because the rest of them is completely black and their hair is all blown back? Yup, that's what it looked like. The other Infecteds' and I started spluttering with laughter.

"Oh, shut up." The white suit guy said. Well, not "white suit" anymore huh? Haha, I amuse myself. We didn't bother attacking them because we were laughing so hard. The survivors stalked off grumbling under our breath. A few minutes later, we stopped laughing.

"Well that was fun. Now to go check out that shiny object." Sapphire said, and went to look at the item glinting in the sun. I followed her, padding on my paws. It looked like a rocket with a button. A large, shiny, silver, skinny rocket. Now where have I seen one of these before? Oh yeah, it's a nuke-!

"I'm gonna press the button…" Sapphire said reaching out to touch it. Adam, Kevin, Wolf, DJ, and Jock realized what Sapphire was about to do and all yelled in unison,

"NOOOOO!"

-A/N. Imagine you're an astronaut. You look down at the continent of America and see an explosion cover the whole southeast area of the land. That's what happened. Also, you know how you can't hear sound in space? Well, the explosion was so great, you heard it.-

I picked myself up off the ground, muttering under my breath. I stood up and staggered a few feet. I looked around and saw my friends getting up off the crater that had been created when the nuke exploded. As soon as Adam had stood up, he demanded,

"Where the fudgesicles is Sapphire?!"

"Here!" A yell came from a lamppost. Adam looked up and saw Sapphire falling towards him. This time, he darted out the way. He sighed in relief but then realized he was standing on the part of a seesaw touching the ground, and Sapphire was falling on the other end.

"Oh come ON-" And then he was launched someplace else. Sapphire jumped up and sniggered. I high-fived her.

-Adam's POV-

I fell onto a pile of cans stacked up about as high as a redwood tree. The whole pyramid came down. Wait… Doesn't Hank the Tank stack cans as a hobby? I opened my eyes to see Hank glaring at me and cracking his knuckles.

"Give me a break!" I yelled before I was in a world of pain.

-Back in Brownie's POV-

I pricked my ears up at Adam's yell. I then shrugged it off.

"Hey guys?" I asked.

"Yeah?" Wolf asked.

"I'm bored."

"Me too. Let's go to the frozen yogurt store." Kevin said.

"I'll pay." DJ spoke up.

"Cool, thanks DJ!" I said happily.

"Welcome."

Our horses trotted up next to us, and we climbed onto their backs. With a whooshing sound, their wings unfurled and they started flapping. We flew off and soared through the air, the wind whooshing past us. We landed in front of the old toy store that led to the underground tunnels used only by the Special Infected. The tunnels led to three different main caves; The Shopping District, The Housing District, and The Meeting and Gladiator Hall. There were several entrances to the tunnels, this abandoned store being one of them. It used to be that each type of Special received their own tunnel, but not anymore. The horses flew away to the gym. Wolf shouldered open the creaky door and held open the door for us. We filed in and Wolf shut it. Adam and Kevin pushed apart a pile of soft toys. Under it was a trapdoor, and we all pulled it up. One by one, we climbed down the steps. Before Sapphire climbed down, she closed the trapdoor and put the toys over it again through a large crack in the wooden planks.

"Man, I forgot how cold this tunnel is." Sapphire grumbled.

"You're wearing a sweatshirt." Adam said.

"Andddddd?"

Adam rolled his eyes (I think) at her, and Sapphire blew a raspberry at him. Adam lightly shoved her and Sapphire shoved harder.

"Someone's going to get hurt." Wolf whispered to DJ, Kevin, Jock, and I.

"You wanna bet who?" I asked quietly. We all shared looks before taking money and other stuff out our pockets. Meanwhile, the fight had turned to sitting on each other.

"Sapphire! Get OFF you big lump! You probably weigh more than two Boomers!"

"Nope. And for calling me fat, I think this calls for a tickling." She then pulled out a feather and pulled off one of Adam's shoes and socks. Then she lightly brushed the feather up and down his foot.

"NOO!" Adam howled between laughs.

Wolf pulled out a twenty dollar bill, a diamond necklace, and a squeaky toy, and said,

"I'm betting Adam will lose."

"Squeaky toy!" I yelped in excitement.

"Stay." DJ warned me.

"Hmm. I'll bet my last pack of root beer on Adam." Jock said.

"I'll bet on Adam too." I said and pulled out a pizza out of nowhere.

"I'll bet on… Sapphire but only because I think Adam's stronger." DJ said and pulled out three tiny glowing spheres.

"What're those?" Kevin asked, studying the objects.

"They're teleporters. You touch them with your finger and say where you want to go and they take you there."

"Awesome…" I said watching the swirls inside the glowing glass.

"Where did you get them?" Wolf asked.

"From a guy with a black hooded cloak and a scythe." DJ replied shrugging.

"Hm. Legit." I said.

"I'll bet a steak and a-" Kevin was interrupted.

"Pie?" I finished hopefully.

"No. NEVER a pie. I'll bet a steak and a basket of varying kinds and brands of chocolate on Sapphire."

"Well now we just have to watch." I said nodding towards the siblings. Currently, Sapphire was winning. She had Adam shoved up against a wall with a hole above it that was dripping with guano.

"Lick it!" She yelled.

"No!" Adam said, turning his head away.

"Do it!"

"Never!"

"…It's pie flavored."

"Ooh, really?"

"Sure." Sapphire said shoving his face into the bat poop.

"This does not taste like pie!" Came the muffled screech. "Let my face out!"

"No. Well, maybe if you say… UNCLE." She said the last word drastically.

"No." Adam whispered.

"Yes…" Sapphire replied, grinning evilly.

See, when Sapphire and Adam were kids, they used to play uncle. If you've never heard of it, it's basically where you fight and when you're winning you ask the other person, "Are you going to say uncle?" If they say yes then you win. Well, Sapphire won. Always. Even though Adam is five years older than her.

Meanwhile Sapphire had duck-taped Adam to the bat poop. She then brought out headphones and a MP3 player. She placed the headphones on Adam and then turned on the MP3. She picked a song and turned it up loud. Not so loud it would cause brain damage, but not so quiet that we couldn't hear it.

The song was, "If I Was Your Boyfriend" by Justin "Booger" as Sapphire and I like to call him.

"NO! Turn it off! It's making me want to throw up! Get the headphones off! NOO!" Adam screeched in terror.

"Say uncle." Sapphire said sweetly.

"UNCLE!"

"Darn it." Kevin and DJ said together and shoved their treasures towards us.

"Whoo!" I said and started eating a chocolate bar from the basket.

"Don't fill up on chocolate. We're going to get frozen yogurt, remember?" Kevin asked conking me on the head.

"Oh yeah." I said. "I already ate the chocolate though."

"Wait, aren't dogs supposed to be allergic to chocolate?" DJ asked curiously.

"Well, it is fan FICTION." I replied.

"Oh." DJ replied.

"What is?" Wolf asked confusedly.

"Never mind." I said.

Sapphire and Adam walked up to us.

"S'up, mah peeps?" Sapphire asked plopping down beside us.

"We're going to go get frozen yogurt now." Wolf said and stood up.

"Really? Just as I sat down? I have a problem with that." Sapphire asked.

"I have a problem with your face." Adam replied.

"Really? Really guano boy?" I asked.

"Guano boy? Exsqueeze me?" Adam asked indignantly. Sapphire and I laughed. Sapphire ran to the end of the tunnel.

"Last one to the frozen yogurt stand is a rotten survivor!" I took off after her. Wolf came lumbering towards us and the ground shook.

"Run!" Sapphire and I yelled laughing. We ran for it, Wolf coming after, Kevin, Adam, and DJ behind us. A few minutes later, we had made it to Bob's Frozen Yogurt. Sapphire was first, me second, Wolf third, DJ fourth, Jock fifth, Kevin sixth, and Adam seventh.

"In your face, guano boy!" Sapphire said grinning.

"Whatever." Adam said sticking his tongue out at Sapphire.

"Hey guys! Sapphire and Adam still arguing, I see." Bob the Boomer said cheerily.

"Hey BB, whassup?" I asked.

"The sky, haha." Bob replied chuckling.

"Good one." Kevin said smiling.

"Thank you. So, I suppose you want frozen yogurt then." Bob said.

"Yes please." Sapphire and I said together quickly. Bob laughed.

"Ok then, let me just get it." He reached in to the freezer and pulled out several different flavors.

"Bacon for Brownie, blueberry pie for Kevin, marshmallow for Sapphire, steak for Adam, pineapple for Jock, and pecan for Wolf." He said. Then he saw DJ. "Are you a friend of the gang?"

"Yeah, DJ is." I said.

"Cool, what flavor would you like?" Bob asked.

"Could I please have a strawberry flavored frozen yogurt?" DJ asked politely.

"Sure, here ya go." Bob said handing it to him with a smile.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. Oh, by the way guys, I've been sponsored by the Frozen Yogurt and Ice-Cream Company, and they're giving me a store at the amusement park they have at the beach. If you want, I'll give you the plane tickets and you can go on a vacation! My treat."

"Really? Thanks BB!" Sapphire said happily.

"Yeah thank you!" I said.

"How much will it cost you?" Adam asked worriedly.

"Oh, they gave me the seven plane tickets free. Good thing too, otherwise DJ wouldn't have been able to come." Bob said laughing. "My twin brother, Bart, is running the stand."

"Cool! We'll go. For _shore_. Get it? Heheh." Sapphire said laughing.

"Haha Sapphire. Here's the plane tickets guys, bye!"

"Goodbye Bob, thank you!" Wolf said as we walked off.

"You're welcome guys, bye!" He called as we walked down into the tunnel.

**End of Chapter! Ok, so, some people requested things to be in this chapter, but I'm not used to writing really long chapters so I'm going to put them in the next chapter. I'll try anyways. Hope you liked, please R&R! :D :D :D :D**


	7. Fun On The Airplane! Well, Sort Of

**HELLO! This… is…Chapter… Sevennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn! (Don't know if you noticed.) So, anyways, I really want to start writing another story because I have an idea for one, and it's a pretty good one. But I think I should probably finish this one and my other two stories. I'd be writing four stories if I did start a new storeh. What do you guys think?**

"Vacation. Vacation. Vacation." Sapphire and I chanted as we lugged our luggage into the Metro airport. We had just taken a taxi here. When the Tank driver hinted for a tip, Sapphire had given him a half eaten lollipop, a pebble, a couple of rusted pennies and some lint out of her pocket, then proceeded to say,

"There you go, my good man." The driver punched Sapphire and drove off with a squeal of the tires. As we watched Sapphire fly through the air, we heard a distant yell,

"I regret nothing!" We had caught up with her later and saw her stuck in what looked like something that had once been a shower stall, the ones with the glass door? Yup, well she had this silly grin on her face and was bumping repeatedly into the door saying stuff like,

"I like pie. And cheese. And unicorns. I'm stuck."

Eventually we coaxed her out, and now we were standing in front of the airport. Unbeknownst to the survivors, we had set it up again. Except, we had made the airport underground, and the planes flew out of large tunnels we had created under ground. There was large metal gate covered with rubble and dirt which opened and closed on the ground level. We saw one fly out just now.

"Well, let's go in." Wolf grunted. We dragged our bags into the sliding doors of the airport, and walked down the secret entrance. When we climbed out the end of the tunnel, we saw that the place was crammed with infected.

"Aw, crap." Sapphire growled.

-Two hours later-

"Oh, come on! We're only halfway there." I said, looking around.

"Yeah, and that jerk just cut in line!" Sapphire exclaimed, pointing at a massive Charger in a black leather jacket, jeans, boots, and gloves, all with spikes. He also had shades and a jet black Mohawk. "You should tell him we were here first, Adam."

"W-what?" Adam spluttered. "Do you SEE the size of the dude?!"

"Chicken."

"I am not a chicken. I'm a coward." He replied.

"…Do me a solid and ask him…?" Sapphire asked. Adam groaned, and dragged his feet over to the dude. Jock pulled out his video camera.

"Hey. Dude." Adam said tapping the Charger on the shoulder. The Charger slowly turned his head, annoyance in his eyes. He flashed his sharp teeth and popped his good arm.

"Are you getting this?" Kevin asked Jock, who was grinning.

"Every minute." Jock replied.

"You cut in front of us."

-TWHACK-

We walked over to where Adam lay face-first in the ground. Wolf picked him up and stuffed him in his suitcase.

"Good job." I congratulated him. "Now let's go back in line-" I was cut off when I saw that the Charger had invited his friends into the line.

"Great." I said, and Wolf and I started walking towards the punks.

"Wait, I'll handle this." Sapphire said pushing us aside and marching off towards them.

"HEY!" She screeched when she came up to them. They jumped about a foot in the air, then looked down at her indignant face.

"Hey look, it's a little girl. What do you want?" The one on the left of the original punk sneered. This one had a shaved head and a bandana wrapped around his mouth.

"Move, or I'll hurt you." Sapphire growled. The airport was in a hushed silence.

"Oh, I'm _so _scared!" Said the one to the right. They all chuckled menacingly then rolled their shoulders and drew their fists back.

Sapphire sighed. "I didn't want to have to do this." Then she kicked the leader where it hurts, flipped the second one with the bandana so he slammed down on the first, then before she could turn on the third he ran away screaming like a girl. She watched him run off, and said,

"Well, actually I did."

The airport cheered and picked us all up.

"Wow, we're famous!" DJ said. The people carried us to our airplane.

"Whoo! Yeah!" Sapphire yelled as she was placed in front of the plane. "Bye guys!"

The people whistled and cheered. The door closed and we walked to our seats. Unfortunately, there was an immensely fat Boomer sitting on Adam and Wolf's seats. He was chewing gummy worms with his mouth open. Wolf and Adam, who had climbed out the suitcase after waking up, turned to Sapphire, who was sitting with me. She glanced up, saw the Boomer, and pulled out a pin. She then proceeded to pop the swollen Infected. Bile, pieces of flesh, and gummy worms exploded all over Adam. And only Adam.

"Aw, sick!" Adam yelled, trying to wipe the green fluid from his face.

Wolf grabbed him and stuffed him in the luggage compartment. The Commons had raced up, looking for the bile covered Hunter. When they saw Wolf, however, they ran for it, sensing he was a friend of the person.

Wolf snorted and wiped the rest of the bile off his seat, then sat down. He pulled Adam out of the luggage compartment and placed him on his chair.

"Thanks." Adam said gratefully.

"Don't mention it." Wolf replied, putting on a pair of music headphones that were attached to the seat.

We thought we had found peace, until…

"Excuse me?" Sapphire asked, tapping the stewardess's shoulder, the one who had just sold her a burger. The stewardess was a Witch.

"Yes?" The Witch asked through gritted teeth.

"This burger has pickles in it." Sapphire said innocently.

"And?"

"I don't like pickles." Sapphire said.

"So take them out." Holly said. I read her name card.

"Can't."

"Why not?" She asked angrily. She looked like she was about to strangle Sapphire.

"Because I'm too lazy." Sapphire replied, grinning.

Holly screamed and jumped out the emergency door.

"Well, that was amusing." I said, watching her fall. "She did have a parachute, right?"

"_Passengers, we will be landing in one minute."_

"That's weird. The flight was supposed to be an hour and a half. It's only been twenty-nine minutes." Kevin said, frowning. We started descending. In exactly one minute, we had landed. I looked out my window. It was the swamp, not the beach.

"Hey, what's going on here?" Wolf said as several blue-uniformed Tanks came and started pushing us towards the door.

"You're getting off. Now." Said one of the Tanks roughly and shoved Wolf off the plane. One of the others pushed DJ and Kevin off as well. Eventually, we were all shoved off.

Sapphire had landed face down in the mud.

"Why are we getting off here? Why aren't the other Infecteds getting off?" I demanded.

"THEY didn't do anything." The captain of the guards barked.

"And what exactly did WE do?" DJ asked.

"Your friend there popped the Mayor of Seattle, made five of our stewardesses' jump out the airplane, and demolished our supply of candy."

"Guilty as charged." Sapphire said, her voice muffled from the mud. The airplane took off and we were left, stranded.

"Well, Sapphire, what do you have to say for yourself?" Adam asked, glaring at Sapphire.

Sapphire lifted her head, her face covered in goop, let out a long belch, and then smacked her face back in the mud.

**Finished! What'd you guys think? Please review! :D**


	8. New Infected! Yay!

**Chapter 8! Yay! Why doesn't Microsoft Word accept "Yay" as a word!? ARGH. **

**DISCLAIMER: Nikita, Warren, Harley, Yetka, Lindsie, and Batu aren't mine. They're Kaito X Len – Banana Split's. And the hybrid infected Nick and Ellis are KRenee's idea.**

We had been trudging through the mud and slime for what had felt like hours.

"I'm SO BORED! Adam." Sapphire said, reaching out her arms for him to give her a piggyback ride.

"Nope. I'm just as tired as you are, Sapphire. We all are." Adam replied, focusing ahead. Sapphire said nothing, staring at Adam's shoulders.

"What are you planning now?" DJ whispered to Sapphire.

"Trying to figure out how Jockeys jump on survivor's backs." Sapphire muttered.

"Ask Jock." I said, smiling. Sapphire's plans always turned out hilarious.

"Excellent idea, my friend. Jock. Hey Jock." Sapphire said under her breath, poking Jock.

"Yes? Problem?" Jock said a little too loudly.

"SSHHHH!" Sapphire, DJ, and I whispered.

"Sorry. Yes? Problem?" Jock whispered. Sapphire asked him in an undertone. Jock grinned mischievously.

"Like this, watch." He then tensed his leg muscles, crouched, and, letting out a wild laugh, jumped onto a common's back. The common screeched and attempted to claw Jock off his shoulders.

"Jock! What are you doing?" Adam asked. Just as he said it, the common crumpled and died.

"Having fun. You?" Jock replied, climbing off the corpse.

"Minding my own business." Adam replied grouchily.

"Well, technically you weren't because you were asking Jock what he was doing, which is-" Kevin started to say, but Adam cut him off.

"Kevin?"

"Yes?"

"Shut it." Adam muttered.

Just then, a high-pitched giggle came from behind Adam. Sapphire jumped onto Adam's head, sitting Indian-style, steering him into a waist deep mud puddle. Adam screeched in anger and shock and when he tried to swipe at Sapphire with his claws, Sapphire laughed, jumped high in the air, and came down on Adam's head, effectively face-planting him in the mud. She then jumped off him and landed, dry, next to us.

"Good job!" Jock applauded Sapphire.

"Thank you." Sapphire said, taking a bow. "I didn't want to look like I was humping him so I sat Indian-style."

"That's how I do it too." Jock said, grinning. "What some other Jockeys do is just plain gross."

"Ya know what else is gross?" A voice growled from behind us.

"What?" Sapphire asked cheerily, turning to a now completely-covered-in-mud Adam.

"Mud in your mouth!" He screeched angrily.

"Actually, that's just strange." Sapphire dismissed him with a wave of her clawed hand. "Where can a Hunter get food around here? Gah!"

"Well, we could go into that perfectly stocked Mega Wal-Mart over there." Wolf suggested.

"Perfect!" We walked towards the Wal-mart. As we were walking, we heard two voices arguing coming from behind a trail. Wolf made us duck behind a shack. We watched as a pair of survivors walked out, yelling at each other.

"I told you Ellis!"

"How was ah supposed ta know those adrenaline shots were set up?!" Ellis yelled back.

"Hey look, it's white suit guy and Ellis. Except they look different…" Kevin whispered. It was true. White suit guy had long claws like a Witch, but his white jacket now had a white hood attached to it. Ellis had a hunched back and his hands were twitching. Also, he had his jacket hoodie on instead of it being tied around his waist.

"Haha, losers." Sapphire chuckled evilly.

"You set up those adrenaline shots, didn't you?" I asked Sapphire.

"Yup." She replied.

"You put Infected blood in them, didn't you?" I asked.

"Yup."

"You think it's hilarious, don't you?"

"Mwhahahahahaha- *Cough cough* Yup."

"And this is why you're my buddy." I said to Sapphire, turning to face the ex-survivors.

"I can't believe Coach and Ro kicked us out!" Nick screeched angrily, raking his claws down a tree. Only to get them stuck in the bark.

"Hahahahahahaha!" We all fell about laughing, while Ellis attempted to yank Nick out of the tree with many curses from both. Eventually Ellis fell backwards and splattered him and us with mud and swampy water.

"Dang it!" Wolf yelled, attempting to wipe the thick slime off himself.

"Yeah, this is my good sweatshirt." Adam muttered under his breath.

"Diva much?" Sapphire asked. "Mom always did say Adam was the princessier of the two of us."

DJ snorted and looked at Adam incredulously. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, I have photos from where he dressed up as a princess on Halloween." Sapphire said, starting to pull out her wallet from her sweatshirt, however, stopped when Adam grabbed her wrist.

"First of all, if you show those photos, you're DEAD, hear me? Second, why the fudge do you have those photos in your wallet?!" Adam hissed through gritted teeth.

"Aww, come on man. Let her show them! It'll be funny." DJ said, trying not to laugh.

"To you, maybe. Hey! They're getting away!" Adam screeched, pointing at the survivors. They had heard us squabbling, managed to get Nick's claws out the tree and were slowly creeping away, but Adam had heard Ellis giggle, part of the Jockey virus.

"Darn it Ellis!" Nick screeched, slapping him upside the head.

"EXCUSE ME?! Who's the one who helped ya get out of tha' tree?" Ellis argued.

Adam pounced and Nick and Ellis jumped separate ways. Ellis landed high up in a tree, while Nick jumped onto a boat which sat tied to a wooden post.

"Wow. You suck at pouncing." DJ said, grimacing.

"You try it then!" Adam called over his shoulder, miffed.

"Nah." DJ replied and, letting out a bull like sound, charged straight at the boat and sent Nick flying, who got snatched out of the air as if he were a feather by Wolf. Then DJ swung from tree branch to tree branch, higher and higher until he was the same level as Ellis. He charged, grabbed Ellis, jumped from tree to tree until jumping down into the water, where Wolf grabbed Ellis by the scruff of the neck just as he had with Nick.

"Well, what should we do with them now?" I asked.

"Let us go?" Asked Ellis hopefully.

"Nope." Sapphire said. "Hey, who're those Infected?" Several Infected, Specials by the look of it, were trudging towards us through the swamp. Well, the Hunter was jumping from tree to tree like DJ had and every now and then the Smoker would swing from branch to branch using his tongue.

"Hey there!" Called the only Witch of the group, who was wearing a short golden shirt over a skin-tight black T-shirt, and denim shorts. She also had ash-blonde hair.

"Hello!" Sapphire called back, waving.

"Sapphire, we don't know if they're friendly or not." Kevin whispered. Just then there was a loud 'BANG!' and we all circled our heads towards the noise.

**Done! I know the ending's a bit weird, but I need sleep. I'm tired! Goodnight ya'll, as they say here.**

**-BWS :D Also, R&R! **


	9. Let's Settle This Like Adults

**Hello peeps! I had mega-writer's block, so I couldn't write for ages, and I sort of still do. Sorry! Also, this chapter isn't that much humor as it is battle. Onto da chappie!**

As it turns out, the bang had been Coach throwing a pipe-bomb. Right next to us. Fortunately, the explosion only carried Adam of his feet and into swamp water. While the gang, our new friends, Nick, Ellis, and I laughed, Adam snarled and screeched at the piranhas biting his butt.

"I did not know piranhas lived in New Orleans." DJ commented. It was then that we saw an empty fish tank with several dead field mouse skeletons inside, and the tag that said:

'These piranhas; Biter, Killer, and Fluffeh, rightfully belong to Sapphire.'

We all turned to look at Sapphire.

"In my defense… It isn't really… Ah, screw it." Sapphire said.

"Figures." I said. "Sapphire, go help him."

"Why me?" Sapphire muttered under her breath and plucked Biter, Killer, and Fluffeh off Adam.

"Wait, what about Coach and Rochelle?" Wolf asked. We turned around to see them pointing our guns at us shakily.

"Crap, I have never seen so many Specials!" Rochelle whispered under her breath.

"We're still humans!" Ellis cried.

"No you're not. Not to us." Coach said through gritted teeth. We were all silent.

"Drama bomb." Sapphire said loudly. "Ah, _Adventure Time_. Anyway, I'm off to get a donut and gosh knows how many other sugary snacks I can find from Wal-mart. Peace." And with that, she strolled off.

"Random. Anyways, where were we? Oh yeah." I said, then let out a howl and turned into the Slasher. The gang grinned, and charged at the survivors. Our friends followed suit. Jock jumped onto Coach, smashing him into trees and other hard objects while laughing crazily. Lindsie screeched and slashed wildly at Rochelle. In a matter of seconds, Rochelle was down.

"I'm down!" Rochelle yelled.

Out of nowhere, a guy in a veteran's suit, another guy with a vest, yet another guy in office clothes, and a female with a red jacket appeared and started attacking us. The dude in a vest helped up Rochelle, and the veteran helped up Coach, who had been incapped after Jock was done with him.

"Oh, this just got good." I said, baring my teeth in a vicious snarl.

I jumped high into a tree while the others were fighting. Sweeping my gaze down on the swamp floor, I saw the female in a red jacket, with her back facing me, shooting with double pistols at Adam, who kept jumping out the way every time a shot was fired, and occasionally slicing at one of the other survivors. I tensed my legs, raised my claws, and sprang with a howl from the branch I had been perched on. The girl looked up in surprise, before-

_Wham._

A large remote control air plane, about the size of a small boulder and as hard as one, smacked me squarely in the chest and sent me flying away from my target.

"Danggggggggggggggggg itttttttttt-" I yelled before the ruff of my neck fur was caught on a branch on a very high up tree. "Hey look, a squeaky toy!" I pulled the said toy off the branch next to me, and got to work. After about five minutes, I saw my friends had managed to defeat the survivors, who were currently hightailing from the battle.

Sapphire had come back somewhere in the midst of the skirmish, and was letting out wild war cries.

"Wait, where's Brownie?" Wolf asked, looking around. I tried to bark, but I had accidently swallowed the bone-shaped squeaky toy. It was sticking on either side in my neck like on cartoons. Just then, Adam, looking for me, walked to the base of the tree I was stuck at. _'It's a wonder I'm still hanging.' _I thought. Suddenly, a cracking sound was heard, and I started lowering. _'Uh-oh.'_

"What the-?!" Adam yelled as he saw me falling towards him. I smashed on top of him.

"The student has become the master." Sapphire said, helping me up.

"What do you mean?" Nikita asked.

"Well, this one time…" Sapphire began explaining the lovely story of how she had fallen on Adam, and he had to be carried to the hospital. And even the part where Adam had chased Sapphire around the place with an IV stand. While she was talking, the friends we had met were laughing, even the nervous one called Harley. When Sapphire finished talking, everyone was in a good mood. Even Adam and Warren!

"Anyone want some snacks?" Sapphire asked pulling out candy and donuts. The group agreed.

"Man, I love Cadbury's." I said biting into a king size bar.

"Dude. Hershey's is better." DJ said.

"Cadbury's." I replied.

"Hershey's."

"Cadbury's."

"HERSHEY'S!"

"CADBURY'S!"

DJ threw a Hershey's at me, however, I jumped out of the way and it hit Adam in the face.

"OH YEAH?" I barked.

I grabbed a couple of Cadbury's, snapped them in half, and formed out of the halves four ninja stars.

"Chocolatey." I grinned, and threw the deadly stars at DJ. Two caught the straps of his clothing and pinned his arms to the tree. The other two pinned his legs by the baggy trousers.

"Darn it." He muttered, but then yanked himself free.

"Why don't you just settle this like adults?" Warren asked after about five minutes of us fighting.

"How do you mean?" I asked. DJ was sitting on my back while I was face planted in the mud. Then I bit his hand, and he jumped up yelling. Then I realized what he meant. "Ohh. Ok. DJ?"

"What?" He asked, sucking on his hand to make the bite pain go away.

"Ohh." He said when he the look on my face.

"ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS!" We both yelled. I had scissors. He did too.

"ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS!" This time I had Rock and he had Scissors.

"Shoot." DJ said as I slammed my fist onto his Scissors.

"Hey, looks like we're here." Yetka said as we walked up to their house.

"I'm tired." Sapphire yawned and leaned onto Adam.

"Sugar low. It is getting dark anyway." Adam said, glancing up at the sky.

"You guys can sleep in the living room." Lindsie said.

"Thanks." I said, yawning as well.

"Hey, it's kind of like a sleepover." Lindsie grinned.

"Cool." I said, smiling back. We walked inside, and soon I and everyone else fell asleep.


	10. Is Canada Up?

**Hey peoples! *Nervous laugh* I'm sure that right now, every Fanfiction person who's read my stories are sharpening their virtual swords and restocking their ammo for their virtual M-16's to kill me for not updating the stories I have. Especially this one! So that's why I'm going to update it. YAY! :D BEGONE HIATUS SIGN AND WRITER'S BLOCK! Whoo! :D :D**

I walked into the main room of the gym, and plopped down onto the cushions. I had just come from the showers and was FINALLY clean. I started licking my claws and waited for the others to arrive so I could tell them the next phase of the plan. Our vacation had gone awesome, by the way. In the swamp, they have "ta best rajun' Cajun' deep-fried chicken with bar-bee-queue- sauce evah!"

They're right; I was licking my paws for weeks! Then Adam walked in, Harlem Shake blasting through a stereo balanced on his shoulders. He was somehow dancing and keeping it there.

"Adam, Harlem Shake is basically a song for people who can't dance, such as moi. But you somehow screwed even that up." I told him. He glared at me and switched off the radio.

"Why are you here?" He asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Why were you born? Just why?" Before I could slap him with the 20 pound rotting fish I found out of nowhere, Sapphire Tarzanned down from the rafters in the gym and clubbed Adam around the head. Wearing a leopard print toga and a sombrero. Eating a taco.

"It is I! Tacozan! And she was born because fate said so! So there!" When Adam struggled to get up, Sapphire stuffed the half-eaten taco in his face, and then put her clawed foot down on his head and smooshed it onto the floor.

Wolf, Jock, Kevin, and DJ had materialized onto the couch from places unknown. I.E., their rooms. Or, in Jock's and DJ's case, someplace else. They were grinning.

"And this is why you are our adopted little sisters. Because A) you're so random, if you were ever serious, a paradox would swallow the world, and B) you girls can kick butt." Wolf laughed.

"Tacozan thanks you." Sapphire bowed.

"And I do too- HEY LOOK SHINY THING!" I bounded off towards Adam, laying unconscious with taco shell, meat, lettuce, and cheese all over his face, and scooped up a heart-shaped locket he had around his neck with my jaws. Trotting back, I placed it down on the rug, and proceeded to stare intensely at it. I was so lost in my own world I didn't notice Kevin had picked up the locket and opened it. Until he burst out into peals of laughter. Then I snapped my head up, and looked over Kevin's shoulder. There, on the left side, was a picture of Adam making the peace sign with a foolish grin on his face. A love-struck grin. On the right, there was a picture of none other than AMANDA. The Witch we'd been annoying for ages.

"Amanda and Adam, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g-, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a hybrid in a baby carriage! Ahahaha!" We all sang together. Apart from Adam, who had woken just before we sang the song without us noticing.

"NONONONONONONO You can't see that!" He yelled frantically.

"Yesh we can. AND WE JUST DID! Ohhhhhhhhhhh-!" Sapphire, DJ, and I leaped out the way as Adam swiped a claw at us.

"My undead life is OVAH. I'll never live this down…" Adam groaned and slammed his face on to the floor. Sapphire, Jock, and I decided to take this opportunity to dance around his body and sprinkle glitter and daisies down upon him like pixies. Or gremlins.

Wolf shook his head slowly at us, and then addressed Adam. "Or… you could move to Canada, stuff yourself with snow cones and their bacon, grow a mustache, have a wife and 20 kids, and then fake your own death falling out of a ski lift."

"WOLF YOU'RE A GENIUS!"

"I am? People always say I'm about average-"

"TO CANADA, up up and away!" Adam yelled.

"Why up?" Kevin asked.

"Cause', Kevin, Canada is up. Mexico is down. England and China are sideways. DUH." DJ replied.

"No, I'm pretty sure since Earth is a globe, as in, a sphere, and counting the tilt, rotation, and revolution of it, no matter where we went, it would be in the same direction- North." Silence.

Then… "No, I'm pretty sure it's weast. Or wumbo. Yes, that is correct. Ahahaha, I'm a NERD." Sapphire replied, grinning from ear to ear under her hood. I gave her a Scooby snack.

"Yeth, yes you are."

All of a sudden, the Mystery Machine slammed through a wall.

"OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS!" Sapphire yelled. "You'd better have Geico to help save you!"

The annoying British gecko popped up out of nowhere. "We save you 50% more on your accident insurance, my lovelies!" Then Flo burst in and squished the gecko like roadkill with her motorcycle.

"LIES!" She shrieked, then put on a calm face. "Well, we save you 60% more."

Then Dennis from State Farm caused a herd of cows to stampede and crush the famous Progressive mascot. "State Farm will save you 100% more in case of an accident."

"NO-ONE SAID 'LIKE A GOOD NEIGHBOR, STATEFARM IS THERE' SO GET OUT OF HERE!" Sapphire yelled and shot down Dennis and the cows, which then revealed a very broken Flo.

"Help… me…"

"I NEVER LIKED YOU!" _Boom_. "GAH." Flo went flying out the window.

"And YOU. YOU. I'm going to feed you to the Cocoa Puffs bird!" Sapphire yelled and plucked the squished, somehow alive, gecko off the floor.

"Why?!" He asked.

"Because…" Sapphire gritted her fangs and leaned in close to his face. "…you… stole… my… COOKIES."

The gecko then proceeded to fly out the window and be swooped up by the all-famous cuckoo bird.

"I WIN." Sapphire grinned.

"I'm very confused…" Adam whimpered.

"Such is life." I grinned and high-fived Sapphire.

"Wait, what about the Mystery Machine?" DJ asked. We all turned slowly and looked at the hippie van.

The Mystery gang stood there with nets and tasers. We realized Amanda was standing next to them.

"Look! There are the monsters I told you about. See?" The she-witch grinned evilly.

"LOOK ADAM IT'S YOUR GIRLFRIEN-"

Adam slammed a claw onto Sapphire's mouth. "Shut… it…"

"Why aren't the Mystery gang zombies?" I asked innocently. I was shut up too.

Amanda hissed in annoyance. "Just get on with it." She snarled to the gang.

There was a crackle of electricity and then we were unconscious.

**I do not own L4D2, Geico, Progressive, State Farm, Tarzan, Scooby Doo, Cocoa Puffs, Harlem Shake, Canada, England, Mexico, and/or China. Unfortunately! :) Read and review please!**


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